it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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