Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
