ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
