i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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