I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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