It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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