I just threw up on my dentist
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Green mimosas i think yes
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
