***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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