"it" just moved
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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