Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
