I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
