Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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