official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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