Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
