I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
