i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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