I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
