Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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