I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
