I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
