It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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