out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
