Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
