We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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