im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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