I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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