I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We left the knife in your bed.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
