i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
