It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
