i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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