Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
