I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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