Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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