I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
