everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
