Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
