giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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