Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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