When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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