it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
