I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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