What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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