Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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