I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
