too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
