She is in my trunk
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
