I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
