Are we in a gay sports bar?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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