first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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