Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She's the barista slut.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
